Thursday, January 14, 2016

Fear 2Hey, Joe. Where were you yesterday morning? We were supposed to go hunting!

“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have called you. My wife insisted I go to church with her or else.”

You went to church?

“Yep. When the little lady insists, you know what you’re going to do!?”

Wasn’t that your first time to go to church?

“Yep. Let me tell you, it was an experience and a half.”

What do you mean?

“Well, first thing, there was about a thousand people there. This one feller got up and he said the Spirit had given him a ‘spiritual song.’ Then he chanted what someone said was a stanza. Well, everyone chanted that part. He continued doing this until everyone remembered all the words, then the audience chanted the whole thing.”

Okay. But how was that an experience and a half?

“Well, since that was my first time, I didn’t know what they were doing. My wife tried to explain the goings on, but I was having a little trouble trying to understand it. The shockers was when this feller got up and said they was taking up a collection.”

So, why was that an experience and a half?

“Just wait. I ain’t finished yet. After this feller announced the collection, folks started walking toward him. When they got there, they put several coins at his feet.”

Well that might be unusual, but it don’t sound like an experience and a half.”

“I’m not there yet. If you will hold off on your comments, I’ll tell you what happened.”

Okay. I’m all ears.”

“This well dressed man approached the feller where folks is laying their money. He tells this preacher that they’ve sold some property, and they was giving the total amount to the Lord. That’s when things got real interesting.”

“Okay, I’m listening!

“The preacher told this fellow that he was lying. That what he had plunked down was only a part of what they had gotten for their property. He said the man was lying to the Holy Spirit. There was a few more words, then, ‘WHAM!’ This guy drops dead!! I’ll tell you, the hair on the back of my neck stood up like a threatening dog’s hair does when he is angry!” Have you ever heard a thousand folks gasp at the same time?”

No, I don’t reckon I have. What happened then?

“Well, these young men took the dead feller out to bury him. After a while, the dead man’s wife comes in. No one has told her what has happened to her hubby. The leader sees her and starts questioning her about the gift. She told the same story as her husband. ‘WHAM!’ She drops dead!! A second unified gasp is exhaled! I’m glad I’m not a member of that group. I’d be afraid to give!”

Didn’t you say they lied about their giving?

“Yep.”

It seems to me that you wouldn’t have anything to be afraid of if’n you didn’t lie. You going with your wife the next times she attends?

“Yep. Honesty is something our society needs, so I like what they stand for. Also, my wife has been trying to explain to me about this Messiah person that died so we could be saved from our sins. That intrigues me. So, I’m going to see what they’re talking about at the next meeting. Besides, I want to see whether their giving increases or decreases next Sunday! I also want to see if these two deaths causes the attendance to go up, or go down! I want to see if some of their members quit! Oh, something else. You can bet, when it comes down to it, that I’ll not lie about my giving!!! No sir-re!”

 Read Acts 5:1-11.