Thursday, May 10, 2018

Husband: I think it’s time for us to start attending church. I used to go when I was a kid and our children are at that age where they need religious training.
Wife: That’s a wonderful suggestion. Where do you think we ought to go?
Husband: I was thinking about the one just down the street.
Wife: No, I don’t like that church.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Because, our neighbor attends there. She said they allow people to come in off the street and some of them fall on the floor yelling that “God is truly among you.” (1 Corinthians 14:23-25).
Husband: We can’t go there. Such goings-on would certainly frighten our children and they would think “church” was a scary place! What about the place about a quarter of a mile that we pass going to Kroger?
Wife: No, I’ve heard about some strange non-biblical actions taking place there too.
Husband: What kind of things?
Wife: I overheard some people at the store talking about that church. People get excited over praying or singing, raising their hands up in the air (1 Timothy 2:8)!
Husband: Wow! I didn’t know that. We’d better not take the children there. They might be tainted with all those hands shooting up into the air. What about that church over on Market and Broad?
Wife: No, I don’t like large churches. If you’re not early enough, it’s hard to find a seat. If you’re a little late, you’ve got to park on the backside of the lot and it takes forever to walk to the building (Acts 2:41, 47; 4:4; 5:14; 6:1).
Husband: Okay, what about the church on the other side of town. They have a good youth program I’m told.
Wife: No, I don’t think we should go there either. I’ve heard from a lady in the office that they had a big blow up not too long ago. It seems the membership is divided about who is the best preacher. So, they have four main groups. They have all kinds of problems. We don’t want to get involved and have to take sides (1 Corinthians 1:10-13).
Husband: There is that mid-size church on the southside of town that might be worth investigating.
Wife: You can’t be serious? Don’t you know about that church?
Husband: No, what have you heard?
Wife: Everyone says there are some members there who are worth their salt, but the rest are questionable. If we went, we might befriend someone who is guilty of giving the church its “dead” rating. We certainly don’t want our children being influenced in the wrong way by attending such a church (Revelation 3:1, 4).
Husband: Whew! This search for a good church is beginning to wear me out! What about the downtown church? It is the oldest one here and must have some good qualities since it has been around for so long!
Wife: No. Not that church either.
Husband: You’ve got to be kidding? What can possibly be wrong with it?
Wife: They don’t allow certain people to become members of that congregation! They refuse to preach or teach the gospel to those folks that they think are unworthy of the good news of Christ.
Husband: Who in the world are they shunning?
Wife: They don’t believe it’s worth their time to talk with the homeless, the folks that never finished high school, those who are hired to do menial jobs, and such (Acts 10:34-35).
Husband: Okay, what about the one on the east side of town?
Wife: I don’t like that one. They still do those Jewish things (Acts 21:20-26)!
Husband: Okay, okay. What about that North side church?
Wife: I’m surprised that you would mention that one. They preach “another gospel”! If we placed membership with them, we would be fellowshipping false doctrine (2 John 1:9)!

Husband: I’m running out of churches. What kind of church should we attend?
Wife: I want a church that doesn’t require us to open our home to the membership (Acts 2:46). One that has folks just like us . One that we can attend worship on Sunday morning but not be bothered about church the rest of the week (1 Corinthians 15:58 KJV). One that has a youth program that will take the kids off our hands for several hours each week and entertain them. One that is anti-emotional (Philippians 4:4). I want one that isn’t always talking about the contribution (2 Corinthians 9:7). I want one where the preacher is always positive and never negative (2 Timothy 4:2-5).
Husband: Honey, I don’t think there is such a church here in town. I’ve heard that they have one like that in Texas! We could fly out, maybe once a month for Sunday morning worship?